The “don’t shed a tear” edition
Banks – call the toe truck.
Bargnani – meh, no reason to play since you have 4-5 months off. Why stress yourself?
Bosh – started off hot, then went as cold as Joan Rivers’ vajayjay. Then the light went off and he put his middle finger up for all his misguided haters to see. He finishes the season averaging 20/10, in the company of only two other players in the league, yet the idiots in the peanut gallery want to dump his ass for whatever we can get and make out that he doesn’t play with heart. Idiots. 21pts and 19boards against a team that was playing for something. Just smile, Chris…big up yaself.
Calderon – kind of late, but it has been terrific to see Jose and Shawn get into a rhythm. Beyond that, Jose was, once again, looking for people besides Chris and was making sure the ball had some movement. Nice to see. Let’s hope it carries over.
Douby – nowhere to be seen
Graham – not sure he will be back. Almost felt like he took the last few weeks off for the most part, which is disappointing. His midseason games were enough for people to sit up and take notice and actually consider using some of our cap space on. Have to wonder if some of that has already gone Quincy’s way.
Humphries – 
Kapono – meh. Personally, I get more excited watching Colangelo pick out shirts. Against the Bulls tonight, 9pts 3 boards. Yay. Well worth that paycheque, eh Mr. Colangelo sir?
Marion – just like Bosh has the coaches in his ear tonight about getting to 18boards to secure the 20/10 average, I’m sure Shawn’s peeps have been getting him to step up the last few weeks just so they can add something to his mixtape. He’s going to have a bigger drop in his disposable income than Dinosty had when he proposed to his girl. Who is hot by the way.
Mensah-Bonsu – if they had installed a 6 foot wide conveyor belt that ran from the top of the key to the bucket, I’m sure Pops would have missed it and had the ball slip off. Him missing chippies tonight brough back horrible HO memories. I can appreciate the brace, but come on. He did absolutely nothing in 5 minutes except waste possessions.
O’Bryant – watching him play makes me think it’s like watching Realizar enter Philthy’s on a RFF night. Unassuming guy, nobody really knows him, you can tell he scores with the ladies…then BAM…tears the place up. 9 pts 7 boards, but again, way too many easy fouls. Still, I’d be hard pressed to understand the team giving Pops an offer and not Patrick. No doubt who has played better and harder the last few weeks. Well, except maybe at inbounding the ball.
Parker – had to think this game was bittersweet for him. Could have been his last one as an NBA starter, if nothing else. Showed he still can bust out the effort, especially after turning the ball over. Achem.
Ukic – good game for a third string PG, which is what he is. Played a calm half court set, moved the ball with some pop, borrowed some of Jose’s hand signals. All good.
Voskuhl – nice jumper from the outside. Last one as an NBA player?
Driving The Bus: Chris Bosh
Under The Bus: Joey Graham
Thanks for a fun ride. If you have da twitter, keep in touch at @altraps, feel free to jump on Google Talk, my handle is scottph, or keep an eye on the site here and at altraps.com. Summer should prove interesting, so you’ll want to be dialed in to keep abreast of what the team does and hear what we have in store. Trust me. You might need an intervention.
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