The “well, it is the season of giving” edition.
Adams – signed by Colangelo. Value = nothing.
Bargnani – drafted #1 overall by Colangelo. Best move: running fingers through his own hair and facially replicating what Bambi’s mother looked like when faced with the double barrel shot gun. His 16 points tonight took a lot of effort, and we needed every last one of them, but it wasn’t enough.
Bosh – here pre-BC, so he couldn’t mess this up. Yet. Started the game off as poorly as a Colangelo-hand-picked draft choice, but tried his damndest to get this team a (greatly undeserved) win in the fourth. Still doing a great job getting to the line, but continued his brutal performance from the floor.
Calderon – a nugget that, while here when Colangelo came to town, might be an anchor around the neck of the collar loving piss poor excuse of a GM. Was Jose too highly regarded and given the keys too soon? One good shooting game in the past week or so and obviously suffering from the same shot-killing disease that CB4 is. Still shocked at his utter lack of court vision and ability to create.
Graham – good game by the no-name and is probably secretly shocked that BC hasn’t shipped him of for, say, Sean Marks. Great hustle game tonight, playing with fire he needs in order to keep earning Jay’s faith.
Humphries – proof that even idiots get lucky, BC traded for him and brought him in hoping he could be a spark plug off the bench. Unfortunately, Triano sees fit to use him more as a broken axel. I hope he is still feeling the pain in his leg, because if he isn’t and there is no other reason he isn’t seeing more minutes, then this coaching staff is as dumb as….
Jawai – a GM that drafts a guy who has never played a professional game in North America, was barely scouted and has a heart that is probably in worse shape than a cartoon characters.
Kapono – he makes 3s. he wins head to head competition at allstar weekend. he has nice hair and is stylish. must sign him to big contract and make my daddy proud. 4 of 10 from 2, 0 of 1 from 3. Sweet move, Bry.
Moon – anybody else waiting for word to “leak” that BC has plans to re-sign Moon at $8mil a year over 4 because he can jump good and is sho nuff nice with fans? Dressed down by Bosh in the fourth for biting on a pump fake and reverting back to passionless ball, it was a disappointing night for Jammy Bear.
O’Neal – if BC wanted or needed something to show what this year is all about, he could have seen it in this game. His big offseason acquisition quitting mid game and not coming back out to play. Change your jersey # to 15 and let the comparisons begin.
Parker – came over from Europe and is playing for Colangelo like he is a member of the French army. Hide behind the inability of your comrades and only exert any offense when someone else on your team does it first. Kind of like how Bryan wouldn’t make a move without talking to Jerry first.
Solomon – we should be happy he came to us. Next on Bryans list was Bill Wennington because he’s Canadian.
Ukic – he’s ready, said Bryan faithfully. He will be a serviceable backup. I wouldn’t trust this guy to service my plants.
Voskuhl – brilliant pick up. Nothing says interior D with passion and hard work like Jake. Yeah, I know Bryan said the same thing about Primoz, but come on…he was stellar in a Raptors uniform. Just wait until Jake gets in game shape……and Nathan……and Jermaine……..
Driving The Bus: Joey Graham for 3 quarters, Bosh for 1.
Under The Bus: Bryan Colangelo 4 Life
Game Theme: 14 copies of this please.
