The “we aren’t a team, we are a bakery” edition.
Adams – this guy is the epitome of CoLiarAngelo’s reign here in Toronto. Amounts to nothing, taking up (cap) space, and is about as fun to watch as a sloth. Of course I made that last part up since he never sees the light of day.
Bargnani – ouch. If he was hanging out at the Upper Brass with the rest of the RR crew and was being “entertained” by a dancer that looked like this and she asked him to hit it tonight, he would have hit her elbow. That was some ugly ugly shooting. 2/9 doesn’t do it justice. He made himself a YouTube collection in 22 minutes.
Bosh – God. Head Chef. The King. The Pimp To The HO. He gets railed for one off game all season when tonights effort is more indicative of what he has done for this team. How does 40/18 grab ya? How about 16 trips to the line? With the guy who was supposed to take the heat off him playing only 26min, CB4 showed that he can still do it alone.
Calderon – showing he still isn’t mentally ready to be a starter, he remembered Jameer Nelson played for the Magic and begged off.
Graham – while it wasn’t pretty, he pulled a Humphries from 3 or 4 games back. Came in, hustled, blocked a shot and then….2 quick fouls and he got Humphried to the bench.
Humphries – some nice D, but it didn’t make up for some boneheaded play on the opposite end. This is the type of game where he has to be almost Perfect Kris to make a difference and he was far from it. He was the mini-me to Bargs tonight. Ugly is as Ugly does.
Jawai – shot to the heart and you’re to blame…Nathan, you give Coliarlangelo’s research a bad name. (thank you Bon Jovi)
Kapono – i found research video of Kapono’s 2008/09 new offensive strategy. You can view it here. At least he helped keep our 3pt streak alive, which is like saying I help keep Pizza Pizza in the black.
Moon – how far you have fallen. 13 minutes of burn and, really, 13 meaningless minutes. I’d be hard pressed to tell you one good thing he did. Well, he did have one steal. I seriously want to slap that red and white mouthguard right out of his mouth. I’d love to throw him in an interrogation room, walk in, slam the door, grab him by the shoulders and yell “WHAT THE FUCK?” Wouldn’t you just love to be this guys agent? Last year your client is in the slam dunk contest. This year, he is barely hanging on in a 13 man…I mean 10 man…roster. This time next year maybe he’ll have NBA players come play in HIS driveway.
O’Neal – great job to start the game against a not-so-into-it front line of the Magic. Defensively Bargs was taking more stands against Howard until he rang up 2 quick fouls, but then HO stepped in and stepped up. The usual happened then…he sits down, we stretch the lead. He comes back in and he gets downgraded to “good”. HO picks up a couple more iffy fouls and he takes his usual late game rightful place on the bench. I appreciate he is here to block shots, but that is all he looks to do. Never boxes out, rarely jumps in traffic for a board (although this has improved over the last few games) and when he commits a foul, it is rarely a “smart” one. He’s got 10 more games left. Use them wisely, son.
Parker – no real complaints defensively, but still not active on the offensive side. I was looking for him to be the darkhorse tonight. He’s a smart player and I thought we would see him look at tape from last year and exploit some things, but he didn’t. I also think he is the guy having the hardest time adjusting to HO. I think he is so used to playing with Bosh and a stationary big that for him to see HO there, it is throwing a curveball at him. Again, 10 games from now, that excuse goes away and we have to think that AP is done as a threat on one side of the ball.
Solomon – ah yes, the pastry chef. Do you like apples or cherries? He had 7 turnovers of his own, but easily caused 4 more by my count. That is brutal, but at the same time, all you Jose jockers need to remember what Nelson did to him last year. If Jose is all-star material and got whipped by Jameer, then you have to give some leeway to Will. Should I also point out that he was one of only 3 (!) Raptors to score in double figures tonight.
Ukic – people were calling for him in our chat tonight. He came on for them. 2 for 8 for 6 points and 1 assist. He is still a new kid on the block, sure, but still far from advertised. If we were 15 deep and able to send him to the DL for a bit, I’d be content, but to think he might need to be on the court 15min a night for some of this season…that worries me like some kid asking me to help with his algebra homework.
Driving The Bus: Chris Bosh
Under The Bus: Andrea Bargnani
Game Theme: A tutorial.
