The “sorry it’s late, but at least I have Bell, a PVR, and didn’t have to watch a pixel fragmented feed you Rogers saps” edition.
Adams – A is for An immense waste of money. Who the hell needs to get hurt in order for this stump to see the floor? Hell, the mascot is hobbled and our version of Mr Potato Head can’t get on the floor.
Bargnani – B is for Believe. I will fully admit when I read this morning that he would be a starter that I thought we would all bear witness to Andrea V1.0 where he looked as uncomfortable as a black man working in a bedsheet factory in Alabama. Instead he was AB2.0 and brought it. That drive and kick in the first was almost jaw dropping and the stare-down of the ref on that horrible offensive foul call was something that I’d love to see more often. He committed 4 fouls, which actually I didn’t even realize, but more than made up for it in determination and maturity.
Bosh – B is for Best on the team. While some may want you to believe he is hatching an ego or takes nights off, I just don’t see it. While he didn’t dominate today, he still left his mark. Simply put, tonight was an example of all our other wins this season: without him, we win none of them.
Calderon – C is for Calling in some favours with the man upstairs to make sure Jose comes back soon.
Graham – G is for Golly, I guess I should try harder in practice.
Humphries – H is for Hustle. If ever there was a night to whip out the video camera if you are Humphs agent, it was tonight. Passing on a dime, cutting to the hole, rebounding, keeping the ball alive, getting phone numbers from the girls in 121…if my boy was playing Monopoly, he’d own all your shit and be selling it back to you while playing footsy with your girl under the table.
Jawai – J is for Jumbo size heart…..and that’s not a good thing.
Kapono – K is for King of stepping on the line. Seriously, is there a record for most games in a row that a player steps out of bounds upon receiving a pass? At least he shot the ball today, though, going 50% across the board including two 3s. Actually did a passable job on defense too, but, man, buy smaller shows or learn to walk on your toes.
Moon – M is for Maybe get used to starting the game in warmups. While the first half was far from sexy, the second half saw our ‘bama boy come alive. Active on both ends and looking a little perturbed, he played what may have been his best half of basketball this year, which isn’t saying a whole lot. I still think if he came back to being a cutter or driver, he could slice up the second stringers pretty well.
O’Neal – O is for Oh look, I still can’t shoot to save my life. A good game which could have been great if he found the hole. 2 nice blocks (he had to rack up a few fouls before doing something productive of course) made the ACC lemmings sit up and take notice…and so it should for $10mil per. Liked his work on the boards, but still needs to step up and box out. His second best game of the year.
Parker – P is for Please for the love of God, must I always be defending these guys??! I really actually felt for him today. He has been going through a rough streak and now he has Dwayne Wade waiting for him on Santa Claus Parade day. Nice gift. Well, Wade got 29, but it took him 34 shots and 4 free throw attempts to do it. Parker, on the other hand, went 5 for 9 and won the game. Who’s got next?
Solomon – S is for See, I told you we didn’t need this Spanish dude. Willy made me look Da Man today, proving that, once and for all, Roko should be dressed up as a bellboy and made to carry a real ballers bags. Will had the hands of a cat burglar, the eyes of a panther, and the shot of…well…Matt Bonner. Still, if I gave you a stat line of 15 and 11 for Jose, you’d be happy. Getting that from Solomon is worthy of euphoria.
Ukic – U is for Understanding he shoulda probably stayed in Europe. Zero points and 4 assists in 14 minutes is worthy of Mateen Cleaves, not some guy a few fans thought would be doing 14 and 7 on the regular. Only way he’ll do that is by playing those numbers at the roulette table at Casino Rama.
Driving The Bus: Andrea Bargnani
Under The Bus: Roko Ukic
Game Theme: Indeed.
