The “everybody beats the Wiz” edition.
Adams – what a fantastic signing by Colangelo. So good he gets traded for a conditional SECOND round pick….then immediately gets waived. BC signed this towel waver to some fanfare. Instead, like the HO signing, it’s another brick in the road of shit that BC has paved for this team.
Bargnani – Big Bucket Bargs continues to play above himself. No idea what got into his pre-game meals, but to say he is playing like a man possessed is to state the obvious. Some, including me, said he would struggle as a centre, but the only thing he is struggling with is his warm-up gear.
Bosh – attracting a lot of attention and allowing Bargs to continue to light it up. Good fourth quarter to rescue a mediocre night.
Calderon – DNP-ASC (did not play-at strip club)
Graham – Joey got the start. You think he knows it yet? Up until now, I thought Kris was the worst at taking advantage of his minutes, but Joey looked poor tonight. Don’t let the rebound number fool you.
Humphries – see above. I don’t think he’d be able to take advantage of a porn star chick tied to a bed that was yelling “Kris Humphries, I hereby give you permission to make me your sex slave starting now”. If he acted like he does on the court, he’d probably trip on a rug and get called for a foul.
Jawai – Etan Thomas, meet Nathan Jawai. Nathan, meet Etan. You have to think that pregame chat would just tug at the heartstrings…or make ones heart swell with optimism.
Kapono – did you see him go off to the side of the tunnel at the end of the game to say hi to someone? I’m kinda hoping it is his shrink, because I think the split personality has come back. Yeah, he had a nice line, but he is back to being a shell of a player. He did a horrible job of running through screens tonight, making some Wizard players look like Dallas Cowboys.
Moon – so do you think his sperm swam erratically? Congratulations, but I sincerely hope the facial features of your offspring take after their mother. That said, I haven’t seen her. Still, with that in mind, I stand by my statement.
O’Neal – this song was heard blaring from the GM’s office today.
Parker – do you think he plucks his eyebrows? Seriously. Anywhoooo, solid game from an NBA player playing in the shadows of a girl. I’ll take the 14 and 6, but the turnovers need to be looked at and corrected. Otherwise, we should start calling him Martha Stewart.
Solomon – smart game today. Zero turnovers, which normally only happens when, say, hell gets chilly. Free Willy further shows up Jay by proving he is the numero uno backup PG on this team.
Ukic – free Roko? Even if he WAS free, I’d probably still ask for a refund. Dud game from a player that needs to be shipped to the DL to get used to travel and the American style of play. He needs court time and unless he can get some when we are out of the playoff picture, bringing him over has proven to be a waste of a roster spot.
Voskuhl – somebody seriously asked him for his headband after the game. Jake Voskuhl. What’s next? I’m going to be walking down the streets of Ottawa and somebody is going to ask me for my shoelaces since I walk so well? It should also be said that FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KRIS, JAKE VOSKUHL HAS TAKEN YOUR MINUTES. JAKE VOSKUHL.
Driving The Bus: Andrea Bargnani
Under The Bus: Kris Humphries
Game Theme: If Jake Voskuhl Could Rap (note: NSFW language)
17 Raps
Bargs 25 points off of 9 shots taken. Nice…
Hilarious stuff, I don’t know if I buy that bringing Roko has been a “waste of a roster spot”. He’s played alright, as long as he realies his strength is defense and attacking he’ll be fine. Just don’t ask him to make jumpers. Graham was good tonight, aggressive early on and set the tone, made a couple hoops, one of them a nice spin on the left block.
Anywhooooo, my top 3: Calderon, Moon, Parker.
yeah, I was intentionally hard on Roko, just to fan some flames.
Joey was good, but I wanted to see the Joey we saw flashes of earlier in the season, especially given the fact he started…and against the Wizards.
Too much to ask, I guess.
Did anyone see the pick Jake Voskuhl laid on Nick Young(correct me if I’m wrong). This site seems to be getting more and more negative. Not everyone on a basketball team is expected to drop 20-25 points a night. You need some gritty guys who’ll throw elbows and grab a couple of rebounds. Voskuhl is a great fit for the Raps and brings some toughness that hasn’t been around since Oakley left.
Negative? Alice Fine baby, Alice Fine.
But reason I’m really commenting is bringing up Oakley in the same breath as Voskuhl, I mean c’mon? Huh? Come on? That was a very normal pick set by Jake, the guy guarding Jake should’ve called the pick out to Young but didn’t. That’s a sign of miscommunication on the part of the Wiz much more than Jake’s toughness, not to say that I don’t like his play.
I’m not comparing Jake Voskuhl to Oakley by any means, but what I am saying is that the Raptors are in desperate need of some toughness and it’s good to see Voskuhl throw some elbows and exhibit some grit. In any case, it’s all good. I read this blog almost daily now, and encourage you guys to keep up the good work. Take care
That’s 2 coughups for our man Will.
That should read FLUX, obvs.
Great stuff Alt. Love the JO one, then Adams (brick reference).
Yay that they won….GF dragged me away for 20/20….What a waste :(
Hilarious. Keep an eye on those laces, son.
Gee wiz, talk about crawling to the finish line. Those were some awful final few possessions. A win, but still.
After watching tonight’s game, one thing is clear:
We’re really going to miss Hassan Adams.
Who is this HO character i keep seeing thrown around? Sorry for my ignorance…
HO is a play on JO.
Ah very clever. Thanks for the info though.
People need to cut Roko some slack, that kid is going to be good.
Bringing altraps to RR roster was a waste of time and space…the guy should write for TMZ or some similar tabloid bs site cuz he sure as hell doesnt know basketball.. stick to comedy main, maybe next season they hand you the golden ticket on last comic standing.
Solomon zero turnovers? that rite there tells me that you didnt watch this game but only checked the box score..
At least canadians should know about their team when espn and SI people analysts dont.
Anycase, good luck with that number one PG back-up for “many many more years to come” as I’m sure real raps fans will love it ..and ship roko to another NBA team.. cuz no way they’ll let him go to DL .
On the other hand, I’ll give you the one on humphries as funny, how much of your precious work surfing time did u waste to come up with that?
Got the w. Another big game from Bargs and CB was big in the 4th. The Wiz are garbage however. 20 plus to’s and 39 boards a night ain’t gonna cut it most of the time. Hopefully are guys keep up the winning ways when we get fully healthy. I still think we can make the playoffs at the 6-8 spots. Must win against Memphis on Friday.
Pretty or not, last nights game was a win on the road, with 9 players, missing 3 starters from the rotations. Not too frequent a happening for the Raptors, so the effort such as it was should be applauded.