The “ain’t no HO on us” edition.
Adams – back to wrapping himself up in 14 layers and checking out the hot chicks in section 119. Hassan Adams. An NBA version of that loser kid we all knew in high school.
Bargnani – guess Coach has decided to run some plays for the kid. On a couple of those drives I could swear he was saying “wheeeeeee”. His D on Howard was probably better than what that other guy on our team would have provided and the confidence he should take from this could be a turning point.
Bosh – dominated late fourth and was a defensive wall to secure this win. Very impressive final 2 minutes. He should put that on YouTube to garner some much needed votes.
Calderon – didn’t miss a free throw.
Graham – Paging Mr Graham. Your basketball talent is now ready for pick up on loading dock 2. Paging Mr Graham. Thank you.
Humphries – gonna look great on the resume when he writes that he gets as many DNP-CDs as Hassan Adams. Talk about the kiss of death. May as well go out and set his hair on fire as he runs up and down Yonge Street yelling “what have I done, dear Lord, what have I done??” while holding a picture of Jay Triano.
Jawai – is giddy with excitement as I type this. Seems he has a doctors visit planned for this week. I can understand his excitement since I know he and the doctor will be having a big heart-to-heart-a-thon after Nathan was caught with this chick.
Kapono – you know when us fat guys stand up in front of you and you can’t see what is on the other side of us? Well, in the past little while, you are playing the part of Jason Kapono and on the other side of the fat guy (me) is Jason’s game. You know it’s there, but you have no way of knowing how to get it back.
Moon – like Bosh he stepped up down the stretch. Before that, his game was full of the usual groans from fans and goofy grins from Mr. Globetrotter. I bet if you slapped him across the face with a wet fish he would probably giggle like somebody was playing with his nipples. Goof.
O’Neal – breaking news: we never needed this guy.
Parker – had a hotter hand than a 14 year old boy in a peep show booth. Fantastic job on Hedo, Active, yet under control, the whole game and hitting some lucky shots that normally would have less chance of going in than getting apologies for messing up this team from Bryan Colangelo. Somewhere Sam Mitchell is smiling.
Solomon – one half of a much needed two-headed monster today. Knew he needed to shoot and did. Still think I might roll the dice and start Roko at least once this week to see what would happen.
Ukic – he smiled. he slammed his body into a teammate. he made a floater. hell the way he played today, he probably went to the locker room and whipped up some perogies and a fine fondue. Nice to see someone remember that driving actually, you know, works.
Voskuhl – he have big body. he try to move mountain. he fail. but he done good. Worthy of a pick up? Jury is still out. As long as it doesn’t curtail any moves down the road, fine, but not sure he can play any better than he did today, which was far from great. That said, he’s on the perfect team for that.
Driving The Bus: Anthony Parker
Under The Bus: Jason Kapono
Game Theme: Hit Em Up
13 Raps
Parker’s the best: “had a hotter hand than a 14 year old boy in a peep show booth.” Great stuff.
A little disappointing that you’re reusing heart jokes.
http://raptorsrepublic.com/blog/2008/12/09/roll-call-december-9-vs-cavaliers/
that’s a stretch, but nice try.
yes! I’m TOTALLY one of the only readers up past 1:31 on a Sunday to read this Roll Call.
Joey could’ve hit some of those shots… imagine…
And Moon is a bit more ’shit-eater’ that ‘goof’. But not by much.
Man, it’s looking worse and worse for O’Neal (his absence from the team and how we haven’t missed him..yet at least). For his own sake, I hope Hassan Adams never visits this site lol.
wow it is late! We will miss O’Neal at some point, when our bigs are looking a little worn or tired and the rebounding effort is lacking, it would be nice to bring him off the bench. I don’t miss him starting though…
As for boards, with JO, we will need a solid #3 who can board along with Bosh and Bargnani, and given the economics of a recession, we are not likely to see (I don’t think) Gerald Wallace come here any time soon.
Tonight, the entire NBA is floating through the twilight zone. Raps beat Orlando, Wiz beat the Cavs, Clippers almost take out Detroit (a little less shocking than usual), Memphis eats Dallas, Knicks beat Boston? What the hell WHERE AM I LET ME OUT!
if D12 had put up 39 on JO instead of VL (& only provided the same 18/5 that VL did), he’d be getting ripped for that…right?
Not if they win, no.
I would have ripped him yertu, LOL.
Yertu
You make it sound like Bargnani played Howard one on one all game. Not the case.
“On the court I’m a giant, too …
I actually get bigger when I’m out there. He calls himself Superman. I call myself the Incredible Hulk … That’s two heroes right there.”
- Joey Graham
joey g is delusional…and i cant quite figure out if its a good thing for him or not.
I can’t wait for the special ‘Hassan Adams ROLL CALL Year in Review’ piece coming this spring!! :D
Hassan Adams should have the number on his uniform revoked.